How to Be Admired at Work
Humility and patience go a long way
We all have that co-worker. You know the one — the one you avoid. The one that you dread helping. The one you hope won’t call you.
Yep, I’ve had them too. I see their name on the caller ID, and I take a breath before I answer the phone. What could it be this time? Quick, let’s get this over with.
You have a full day already, and then the person that never reads emails is calling to ask you about an email. I know. If you take the extra few moments to help a peer, it will be worth every minute.
Never demand
People demand, and they don’t even know they’re doing it. I don’t know if they’re in a hurry or what, but it’s never a good start. I had a peer like this. Our stores were close in proximity, and she would occasionally need help because she couldn’t keep her store fully staffed.
“I’m going to need help next week!” She exclaimed over the phone.
Uh-huh. Are you? That sounds like a you problem. Now, of course, we helped her, but my whole team did it begrudgingly.
Now, let’s try this approach…
“Hey, how are you? How’s the week been? You know, I’ve had a rough go over here, and if you have anyone that could help out next week, that would be great. I would really appreciate it.”
Have a normal conversation. A relationship goes both ways. I don’t care if you’re stressed and neither does the person on the other end of the line.
Reciprocate
People will stop helping you if you never help them. This goes for everybody on the team. Most people are game to help you out. A few times, actually without anything in return, and then they will stop.
I used to see this when we had sales associates who needed to get shifts covered. The team would rally and help them out a few times, and then after that, they would say no. They would be straight up and tell the person, “you ask too much.”
Teenagers are fantastic at brutal honesty.
Have people stopped helping you? Maybe it’s because you never help them.
Don’t be a “know it all”
Asking a question can make people feel vulnerable. The last thing you want to do is make them regret coming to you.
I’ve had peers ask me questions, and I cannot fathom how they don’t know the answer. Do I tell them that? Do I let on? Do I ask them to go back and read through the emails? The answer is right there, for crying out loud!
Nope. I tell them the answer. I have no idea what their week has been like or how they could’ve missed it, but it doesn’t matter.
Share what you know freely. Admit when you don’t know the answer. Keep doing this every time someone needs help, and when it comes around that you need assistance, everyone will line up.
Humility
Competition at work can be healthy and even fun, but no one likes a show-off. I worked in a store where we were at the top of our game. We had the highest sales and won many contests, but I was humble about it.
Firstly, it wasn’t only my success. Success is a team sport. I had a group of fifty people making that happen. Also, the timing was right. The building had recently been remodeled and our neighborhood customer was ready to shop!
I was the right leader for that building at the right time. I knew it. Being number one is fleeting. Don’t get too comfortable there because you will get knocked off, and when you do, handle it with grace.
Patience
Having patience is an underrated skill. If you can master it, it runs over into every aspect of your life. I used to be terrible at this. When I was 21, I went to college in London for five months. Know what I learned? Patience.
I used to have a short temper and an even shorter fuse — that’s not what anyone wants to deal with, especially at work. I gained patience at the back of long lines and missed subways. I learned it when I got lost and had to ask for directions (this was in the ’90s, people). London threw a wet towel on the fire that was my young, angry, hasty self.
Learning how to have patience served me well throughout my career. Switching priorities was a constant, almost hourly event. New direction, call-outs, customer service issues, you name it. We are constantly interrupted in retail. If you cannot master patience, you’re in for a long day and a headache.
Final Thoughts
There are a million little things that make you admirable. Most importantly, it has to come from the heart. You can’t fake it. You have to want others to succeed as much as you want to.
You must understand that everyone is human with their own struggles, and we’re just here to get a job done. We need to collect a paycheck, and if we could work with cool people that understand that, it would be awesome.
Never demand help from a co-worker. Ask for it, and they will gladly help you. Reciprocate the support when you are able. Don’t be a “know it all” (it’s uncool). Show humility when you reach the top, and be elegant when you fall back into second place.
Being admirable comes from a genuine, kind place. It comes from being yourself. Lean into who you are and be cool to people. The sky’s the limit.
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